All Summer Long

At this point my emotional level is very high, you could say I am a master Emo at this level. This high emotional level is first of all caused by my test week. The thought of that I might not pass my economics test is frightening and discouraging. Although I do not have to fear about failing my year. Never in my whole school year my report card looked so good as in this year. Maybe this discouraging fear is caused by the fact that I need a vacation! Almost everyone around me is enjoying the beautiful weather outside and the ability to party till dawn. I am so jealous, I don’t want to study anymore. The other reason for my high emotional level is that I started to think about my social position in life. How will people see me? Why is it so exhausting for me to be around certain people?

I am an enthusiastic kid, I need enthusiasm and I will be enthusiastic. When people wont give me back that enthusiasm, what happens most of the time, i get disappointed. That disappointment is pretty fucking exhausting. But maybe i just have to be patient and wait till all this test week crap is over and people will have the energy to be enthusiastic with me. If this is not the case, i swear to god ill kill myself. Well not that drastic i guess, but i think i will snap. But as some of you might know that wont be the only reason for me to snap.

The last few weeks i have been watching all episodes of Sex and the City on internet. To tell you, it is quite educational, not only sex-wise but also relationship wise. But when you compare those relationships to your own or the ones you know. But then you think, what comparison is there to make, you are not thirty something, you are ten something, which sounds so immature and little. But we all want to act like we are more mature. Are the standards for every relationship the same, despite your age? On sexual level I don’t think this will occur to every relationship, maybe most of them. Also the standards of the girls in SATC are so much different then the standards in our little country. As much as I want to I don’t think I can compare any kind of relationship I had to those in the show.

As you can see, by watching a show I am gonna compare it a little to my own life. Which is a quite fucked up thing if you think about it. But I am sure i am not the only one who does this. Am I?

Anyway the third reason for my high emotional level is that I want to get out of this godforsaken country. I am thinking about the things I used to do all summer long. My old traditions while being away, and as the days pass I am longing more and more for those wonderful days yet to come. I get so impatient, i still have to wait for so many days.

But now I think who am I to complain? I only have two days of school left, but thinking about that the thought of, it is still 48 hours, slips into my mind and discourages me again for that horrific economics test tomorrow.


Music: Kid Rock - All Summer Long
Quote: Kut kabouters