Almost Kerstbal

Howdi hi folks!
It has been almost three weeks since my last post (I got an oscar right). I waited until several people came begging on their knees for a new post. Well on their knees would be like an understatement but like 5 people said to me that I had to update my blog. Well for all those darlings out there a new post!

So friggin much has happened lately, and I’ve forgot almost everything. Ahm just give me a few minutes to think….

I heard something about Nienie being NSP? Is that right? And to nienie….WHY!?

Everyone is quite excited, (wooptiedoo’) about the whole housing process related to thimun. Like Laurens is all obsessed by those people, he even gave me the link of the club some USA kids are in :-p. Yes some of our housing peeps are Americans, somewhere in my naughty (wtf!?) dreams I hope for a movie star type of guy getting of that plane, introduces him and says he stays at my place.
That probably would never happen because there are like 5 guys in the USA group and they’ll probably be housed at some guys place. Too bad for my whole movie star scenario. Well I promise you I will not cry.

So peeps, lets talk about the KERSTBAL! Because nienie, max and steef aint going that only keeps me (or maybe Emilie) to talk about it. Oh the reasen they are not going is because they are too 'vriendloos' . And believe me that were not my words!
Im so friggin excited about it! Im soooooo looking forward to is :-p. Today I bought my shoes, they are so cool and beautiful. It are pumps with a Sleehak ^^. I’ve already bought my clothes talked about it before. You know the corset and skirt. Well anyways we are prepared!
Laureen and me made some promises to each others, well you can also call them bets :P. actually they are quite nasty and ahm…cheap. But what the hell I want to have fun!
It is going to be fun. Schedule for tomorrow:
8.30 get up, take a shower, eat, dry my hear and get my schoolbag.
9.30 Go to Kip’s place and get my package for a secret meeting xD.
10.00 – 10.15 arrive at laureens place and give ‘dump’ my stuff.
10.40-11.00 get off to go to school, for class =S.
11.00 – 14.30 go to school take class (probably watching bad movies all day) and drool at someone’s feet =P rofl!
14.30 Get my bag from my moms room and get off to Laureens place again.
After that, just eat and get ready for the party!!!!

I think this is enough for now….
I am tired and want to look Sissi!
Greets love and Merry Christmas!!!
Love ya all!

Music : Soil – Halo

Quote: Cowboy Cowboy riding on a rodeo, can you be the one for him…..

Games, copied from O'herne Clan

This one I Copied from Spacemonkey 91.
Put your whole playlist on shuffle. With every question say what song is playing. Bladiebla

Opening credits:
Stone Sour – Zzyxz Rd.

Waking up:
HIM – wings of a butterfly

First day at school:
Blink 182 – First Date

Falling in love:
50Cent – Candy Shop

Breaking up:
Black Eyed Peas ft. Sergio Mendes – Masque Nada

Prom:
Robbie Williams – Rudebox

Life’s okay:
Nickelback - Photograph

Mental breakdown:
Evanescence – sweet sacrifice

Driving:
Puddle of Mud – She Hates Me

Flashback:
Three Days Grace - Home

Getting back together:
HIM – You are The One

Wedding:
Blue ft. Elton John – sorry seems to be the hardest word

Birth of child:
Pirates of the Carribean Themesong (jack Sparrow)

Final battle:
Evanescence – Good Enough

Death scene:
Soundtrack – Moulin Rouge – A story About Love

Funeral song:
Greenday – Are we the Waiting

End credits:
Juanes ft. Nelly Furtado - Fotografia


Birth of Child POTC theme? Is my child gonna be a pirate or as cool as Johnny depp?

From Queen of Multitasking:
'' Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Webcheating is frowned upon. ''

I just put WMP on shuffle :P And the ones that are correct ill put in italics.

1. She's A Rebel, She's A saint, She's salt of the earth, And she's dangerous.
2. So I sing a song To reel 'em in.
3. Trust me, There’s no need to fear.
4. If I was a rich girl (na, na....)
5. Manhunt to find your daughter.
6. I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
7. Who knows what tomorrow brings In a world few hearts survive?
8. Don't know what's going on, Don't know what went wrong.
9. We dont need no education.
10.I guess I like it when we play.
11.Lithium, dont want to lock me up inside.
12.Today tomorrow seems so far away.
13.(when this began) I had nothing to say and I get lost in the nothingness inside of me.
14.Never made it as a wise man I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing.
15.I'm walking through your streets

Have fun! And sorry cor copying:P
Greeeeeeeeeeeeetsss

Sinterklaas Rocks!

I’ve got a Zwartepietenmuts! And an Oscar cuz my grammar and spelling skills suck! I already knew that but now I got a price for it, that’s like amazing.
Got dumped by my parent while we were doing our Sinterklaas & Kerstbal shopping. My parents came up with a fine plan for me, to go home WALKING! Wtf! That’s like 5 km, or otherwise take the bus. Well at the end I got a ride from Robbert! I’m still very thankful for that. And right now Robbert feels good because he’s mentioned again!
I bought all the Sinterklaas presents I needed, now I have to make a poem for the one I had to buy a present for. =p. I also bought an outfit for the ‘Kerstbal’ @ our school. It’s a skirt with a corset. Its so cool, the corset fits perfect! I also got some awesome jewellery after the ‘Kerstbal’ I’ll post a pic to show you all how I looked.
Today at work Jolanthe and me got a Zwartepietenmuts, we were wearing them during work and suddenly a little girl came to me and asked me if I was Zwartepiet. First I thought, I’m quite white but what the hell. So I said yes, then she asked me if I knew where she could find the Pepernoten. It was so friggin cute, if someone asks me to be Zwartepiet I’m gonna say yes! I wanna be a Zwartepiet!
I absolutely love my three new CDs! They’re from:
Stone Sour
Three Days Grace
Evanescence
There are too many cool songs on them and I keep playing them, there are some songs I even know the lyrics from. So again Robbert THX!!!!!

Okay maybe some of you saw the comment from the SA. Just to show you.

Dear Lotte,

I keep checking your blog again and again, and each time I'm more inspired by you and your life. I'm very anxious to meet you in real life again. Things have been put into motion recently, but unfortunatly it wasn't ment be. A reunion is on it's way though, and this time, I'll make sure you're going to be invited!


- A Secret Admirer
Do you all see the again? That kind of means I’ve already met my SA. Now im so friggin confused and curious! I wanna know who he is! So this message is for my SA.

Dear SA,
Do you want to give me a hint who you are? I’m so curious. And have we already met? I’m, so confused right now.
Byee Lotte

Well that’s about it for today. Gonna figure out how to write that poem right now.
Greetz

Music: Stone Sour – Zzyxz Rd.

Quote: You are Obsessed with Obsessions.

Tests

Did some tests on Blogthings.com Some funny and interesting things came out of the tests. Ill post some:

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Birthdate: August 2

You're so intuitive, it's like you have a sixth, seventh, and eighth sense. You connect with others freely and easily - and you tend to have many best friends. Warm and caring, it's hard for you to close your heart to anyone. Affection is like air for you - you need to give and receive it to survive. Your strength: Your universal compassion Your weakness: Your unpredictable mood swings Your power color: Mauve Your power symbol: Butterfly Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

If You Were Born in 2893...

Your Name Would Be: Hana Aoi And You Would Be: A Prophet

If You Were Born in 2893

Your Personality Is Like Alcohol

You're the life of the party, a total flirt, and probably a pretty big jokester. Sometimes your behavior gets you in trouble, but you still remain socially acceptable. You're a pretty bad driver, and you're dancing could also use a little work!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

Your 1920's Name is:

Georgetta Esperanza

What's Your 1920's Name?

That was about it.
Greetings

Black Out

I just saw the most WRONG musicvideo in the history of bad music. I think I’m traumatised for life. If anyone of you wants a Trauma just go to Google video and search for Gunther, choose one of his videos and let the Trauma begin.
I mean is this dude for real with his songs named ‘Teeny Weeny String bikini’ ? Okay in some case it is funny but not really my kind of music. Ah thx to robbert he gave me a link to some good music, but he also gave me the Gunther link. It is gonna take him long before I get over my Trauma.

My hands are frozen. Around 1615 I went to the C1000 to check my bank account, get some energy drink, candy and toothpaste. There I met Robbert, and we stood in front of the c1000 for like 30 minutes then we got to my house. Although we met Joost in front of my house and stood there talking for another hour I guess. Well the conclusion is, I’m frozen. But it was nice talking bout random stuff and not thinking about school, and thinking and being afraid for Friday.

BTW im not gonna talk about schizophrenic Nienie, Stephs SAs and my SA! There is too much talking about that stuff.

Okay from now on my mind is completely blank, I only can focus on the music im listening and the conversations on MSN. It’s a shame because I did think of things I could write and stuff. Aaaaaaaaaaaah blank….
Whats it called? Ooooh, Blackout!

Well ill write about all the stuff later.

Music: Nickelback – Little Friend

Quote: Teeny Weeny String Bikini

Dunglish An Official Language?

OMG so much happened and I just didn’t update at all! Firstly LeMUN I want to encourage myself to write such a long story but I really can’t, it just isn’t working out. Just a short summary.

Had to give a speech at the first day, just heard of it one hour before I had to present it. So Folmer wrote an introduction and I wrote the middle and folmer wrote the conclusion. Before the speech I was so scared, never was so nervous in my whole life. Glad there was a nice guy from DPRK who had to give a speech before me and the taught me how to breathe properly again.
Met some cool people, like the EMO from Hungary who represented PNA, wrote so many notes with him, his name is Dave btw. The guy who taught me how to breathe found me in my committee room and wrote some notes to me, his name is Minseob. Steven, represented DPRK very nice little dude, had such a laugh with him.
The party was cool! Im getting the pictures from Kat tomorrow already got 4 pictures they are cool. The only bad thing was that Barbara puked on Laureen and on my shoes. Later on she felt good again, but I think we also have to Thank Ernst for that ;-).

I guess that was LeMUN, in MUN class we are preparing for ThiMUN now, we are Brazil and I am in the HR1 committee.

Yesterday in MUN Nienke suddenly said to me something like: ‘ Lotte how is your secret admirer going?’ And I was like. WTF! Because usually I don’t read my comments that common, but when she said about the secret admirer left a comment on my blog I just had to look. And its true! I have a secret admirer! It sounds cool, but freaky at the same time because you don’t know who it is, but that some Italian dude is interested in you and reads your blog. That makes you feel good, just read this quote from the SA:
[ it fills me with a deep feeling of warmth and completeness ]
That’s just so cool, that I can make someone feel like that with all my random talk about my life.
@SA: I hope you are a cool dude and not a paedophilic psycho or something like that ^^ just keep reading. And BTW if you are someone who I know in person already and you just use your secret Italian identity to 1. tell me how you feel, or 2. just make fun of me, then I really think you are pathetic and really should find help to GET A LIFE. But if you are not then its cool.

Aaaaah! As some of you might know, Maxi is Emo obsessed, well I Think I’m sk8rboy obsessed =p. it sounds weird, but it is quite cool. I’m kinda happy with my obsession, it gives me something to do while I am just sitting @ home doing nothing. So if you hear me talk about all the hot sk8rboy/dudes then just don’t get mad with me I cant help it I’m just obsessed. And for people who don’t know the difference:
Sk8rboy : Is a guy who skates and dresses like a skater.
Skr8rdude: A guy who dresses like a skater but doesn’t skate.
Well anyway theyre both hot! =p.

Like yesterday I heard someone say that Dunglish is her best language. That’s like so cool! Because I love dunglish and if I know more friends who can speak Dunglish I would like speak Dunglish all the time. Actually I think Dunglish should be made into an official language. If anyone agrees with me could he/she please help me with my mission in making Dunglish an official Language? It would be so cool and Trash =p.

Oh btw about today! I just did nothing, went to school while I was half sleeping. I am so tired! And more people around me are tired what makes me even feel more tired! It’s like a sleep epidemic (is that possible?). Going to bed early today I think cuz otherwise I will just collapse tomorrow. Well that’s about it for today.

Edit: Got this froms Max's Blog Its so lol:

You Are a Punk Rocker!

When it comes to rock, you don't follow any rules You know that rocking out is all about taking down the man You've got an incredible stage presence and rock persona You scare moms, make bad girls (or boys) swoon, and live life on the edge!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Quote: ‘Lotthic Ik Kies You!’
‘Sparkly Sparkly.’

Music: U2 & Greenday – The Saints Are Coming

'Kolere MSN' & Way too many Questions

I’m so frustrated! My msn doesn’t work properly anymore. That means I cannot talk to anyone the shit thing keeps saying, could not send message to contact. Ive noticed more people have this problem as like three came online and offline like 5 times in a row with in their names.
KUT MSN!!! WAT IS DIT JONGE!!???
Or something that would explain the same thing! MSN is shit today, and it just happened at such a wrong moment!
I made a deal with this guy that I would tell him which guy(s) I liked if he would tell me which girl he liked a little bit. So finally he told me and then it was my turn and……FLAT! My msn stopped functioning!!! I sent him an E-mail explaining the whole shit but I wonder if he ever received it. I hope he doesn’t get mad or something, and that my MSN will work again. GRMBL :@:@.

Aaaaah yesterday I was allowed to have my phone again in the evening, well actually my dad did say something vague about handing it in but I ignored that and just kept it. He didn’t ask anymore so I guess it was okay.

AAAAAH! Friday we have LEMUN! I kind of ‘naaied’ Folmer, sorry for that dude. Cuz the ambassador of Egypt has to give a speech, and mr. De Jong said it has to be a fifth year. So then he asked who could do it and I said Folmer and the Mr. De Jong said that he thought Folmer really could do it. And then suddenly someone started clapping, and now Folmer is ambassador, has to give a speech and he is mad on me. But I said I would help him, but I have to talk with him about it on MSN and as long that’s not working properly there nothing I can do. I also have to some research and shit.

What Can you Do if you do not know what you want!?
Think? Well I did and it only got worse, it’s like all the things that are happening, and everything happens so close on everything.
And what can you do if a friend of yours likes someone, but you also like that someone, and you know who that someone likes and its not your friend but you. But that someone lives so far away. Aaah loads of questions in my head but no one to answer it?

Well anyways, Gonna Have A Party!!!!

I hope the people to whom i was talking may see that more people have te same problem and in a weird start reading my blog so that they know what is going on.

Music: The Killers – Mr. Brightside

Quote: You shall not Pass!!!!!! Kidding…. ‘Destiny Is Calling Me’…..

Notes Passing and Finding a Conclusion to My Obsession

Well okay that was MINIMUN. Didnt really get all the resos though, my mind was in an other dimension. I think its not necessary to tell you which dimension. Well we got on the DIS as 8.50 right on time, but the one that was not on time was someone who told us we had to be there at 8.50 and not a minute later. Well after we got our badges, Laureen, Baay and me got to our committee. We were so late and when we got in all eyes were on us, including the eyes of yeah well It!
We sat in the back, I did not really got the resos but it was fun to look at everyone. Baay said something to me I didn’t like so I hit him with my book. Then some guy at the back shushed us, later I got a message from john that we had to be quiet otherwise he would split us up. Then instead of talking I send a not to laureen who was sitting right next to me.

From: Argentina.
To: Spain.
He’s So Hot!
STALKER!
FY! I Want him =p. Gimme advise.
Nou loop nu op hem af en pak hem op de bek.
Give me normal advise pls!
Oke mama spain zal advise geven.
1. stuur hem een briefje
2. loop niet zo stalker te doen
3. ga in de pauze bij hem zitten
3. DOE NORMAAL!
Hm, what shall i write? Im not stalking him! Im just laughing cuz of the message of Marie =P.
Je stalkt Believe me.
Lol, that’s my name xD, what shall I Write?
‘Hi How Ya Doin?’

Well yeah I followed her advice and wrote him a note, it was funny talking to him. I don’t have that note anymore he has it. Baay and Laureen tried to write him a note at the beginning with ‘I LOVE YOU’ as me sending it. But the Admin did not dare to give it to him because her director was in the room. After that they write another note to john with something like, pay attention and stop writing notes to Argentina that are not going about MUN!’
After 2.5 resos we went to lunch, this existed of two breads with some sweaty chees and ham with salad. The desert was a Mars of Snickers together with an appel. Oh and a water bottle. After we finished another reso after lunch we went to the GA. And that’s where all the ‘fun’ started. I was sitting in front together with nienke and we had like no clue what was going on. So we started writing notes. Well here is coming THE note that embarrassed me.

I’m the normal one, nienie, the bold and Emi the green one.

To: Deputy Chair of Political Committee, Emilie (Geile Chick!)
From: Argentina (2 hot girls in the front).
How was your day? Still don’t know what IAEA is? BTW look behind you =P. Grtz!
Lotte is still obsessed…
Duh! Hes just so hot! Makes my hart go faster! Those eyes, Those hands, That Smile! Woah! =P.
Hands?! He doesn’t seem too interested in you btw…
That just broke my heart =p.
I’m Temped to pass this note to the back. Please, at least pretend you’re interested/paying attention.
I’m not scared of u! we are interested! =p (at the back)
Whehehe keep this note I wanna scan it!
Baai (JE BLUFT!)
Em, do pass it over, I wanna see his and Lotte’s face when he reads it.
John thought you’d like to read this ^_^. Emilie.

Well she passed it over, if you want to know. I just did not dare to look, I still don’t know what his reaction was so please Em ore someone else tell me!!!!! And now because im Furious in a funny kind of way Emi has to fiks a date for me whahahaha,,, soooh gonna laugh about this!!! Thats my revenge.
After that me and nienie, began slowchatting on notes and later on passed them over to Emilie. I hope Emilie still has them and wants to post them too.
And BTW Laureen made a note with a big Heart! Wit LY written underneath it during the GA. She send it over to john with my name under it. When he read his eyes got all big and he just passed it over to Emilie without saying something, emilie and her Fellow Chairs read it and jus started laughing. I spotted it though and I said to John it wasn’t mine.

Meanwhile I received some notes from spain.

To argentina:
Do you like the reso? And did you like the heart? I?m almost sleepin, trilala. Go & Talk
xxx.
SEND BACK! 10TH TIME IM TRYING.

To Argentina:
This is our committee, Oeh and John is Talking =p. haha, you gotta send back! It is Important Im gonna vote in favour! Hihi xx spain.

After the closing ceremony, I talked to Teo for a while and offcourse it was about him and I heard some interesting stuff that made my conclusion easier., and after that we went home. In the car I kept talking about the 'Geile Chair' and annoyed a lot of people what was fun actually. That was MINIMUN from my point of view I guess. Probably forgot to add some stuff =p.

When I got home I started thinking:
Is he really my type? And do I really like him that much? I know he is ‘Geil’ and I refer him as It, Because he is a god, but am I doing all this flirting, all this embarrassing because I like him or just because its fun to do? Cuz neither it or me is quite serious when we talk to eacht other =P. I’m just like giggling all the time, and he is just laughing at me all the time.
Well I guess I will just stick to the ‘usual’ type!=P. Sk8rboy watch out! Lotte is free and hunting =D-
Oef, that just sounds so bad!
Next week we have LEMUN + a party in the Incasa! Yay!!! I hope there will be some magic happening over there. Rofl!
Well that’s that for today.

Quote of the day: Paul McCoy is so hot in ‘Bring Me To Life’ I also wanna guy who’s gonna safe me like that!
2: Gonna buy a Greenday shirt!

Music: DJ Casper – Cha Cha Slide. (I am really trying the dance ^^)

Eat Life With A Big Spoon!

Ever Since a couple of days I believe more and more in destiny. Like the term: ‘Destiny brought us together.’ Is like soooooooh true! And destiny made the order of the AH wrong so that my brother had to bring all kind of stuff home. So now our fridge is filled with AA drink, and Vodka mix. I got a lotion, my parents got Port and today my brother gave me a package of 5 (!) chocolate bars. *drool*. So, I believe in destiny because I really need that chocolate because all this studying makes me hungry, I also was in desperate need of a good lotion. The AA energy drink is also coming right on time, Studying is sooooo tiring. And about the Vodka mix, we will find a solution for that, next week we have a LEMUN party.

About my day: A temporary eye infection was blurring my sight on the bike this morning, as a result that I didn’t see ‘someone’ and that I almost rode into a tree. The next part of my day is about something I wont mention in my blog. When we didn’t had to go to that part that cant be mentioned we went to Laureens house where we ate something, watched ‘New York Minute.’ And meanwhile I infected Laureen with my eye infection. Sounds great right?
Right about now I am eating my chocolate and listening to Linkin Park, well I feel more like listening to Evanescence….wait a sec….sooooh Evanescence is ‘pumping’ out of my speakers.

Have you ever heard about women can do more things at one time? Well that does not count for me. I maybe can do two thinks at one time (Like working and talking to people in the store). Monday I was: Watching Oceans Eleven, and when you watch that you have to pay good attention, chatting on MSN with some peeps, making a summary for geography, listening to music and talking to a friend on the phone. It drove me insane; I ended up screaming to my friend on the phone. So that’s the last time I wanted to prove I am a woman who can do more things at one time.

Well that’s that guys, cus I haven’t scraped anything from my ‘to’ do list today.

List:
Study for ANW.
Sign up for the Writing Contest.
Clean my room.
Call daphyd.
Chill.
Find a healthy diet to ‘gain weight’.
Make an appointment to the vet.

Quote of the day:
‘Someone told me, Love would all save us, But how can that be Look what love gave Us.’
From Nickelbacks – Hero.

Music: Evanescence – My Immortal

Here I am again!!
Nothing much happened the last hours I guess, just go to work and studied for the test week. I’ve got a lot of positive reactions on my Story so I guess I will continue it and sent it in for the Contest. Hope I am going to win xD!!!
Some friends of me have sites too, Maxi who’s a blogger too already linked me, that’s so cool, I would link her too if just know how to link her. Daphyd however is not going to link me until I put something about him on my blog. Bugger, So I guess Ill plant some pictures of him on my blog. It will be about last Sunday when I went to Omnia!!!
Almost forgot I did had something to tell you, my brother is going to kill someone, it is going to be me or his friend. Because we are having contact and I a weird way my brother doesn’t like that thought I guess. Well that friend told me. So if after this post the blogging stops you can guess what happened to me. Snif sniff.


Oh right the pics...
Daphyd!!! Now u owe me a link!!!



















This is Me Fighting with Bouke!!! We love eachother veryvery much.







Me and Kim!! Such a sweet girl!!! LYsm!!!






















This is where we came for !!! Omnia!!! U rule!!
Thats that for today
Byeeee
Love ya all!!!

Jeeesh never saw this Title things

Hello again!
aaaah I promised not to talk about school, but its So difficult, maybe one little thing:
Just had my French test, it went well, now I have to study for other tests.
History: Friggin 23 Pages.
Anw: Friggin 34 pages! + notes.
Geo: I have no idea how many pages :P
CKV: No idea either, dunno where I left my book.
Maths: Gosh, I'm was supposed to finish this chapter like this week, still at 27. :S:S
Dutch: Dutch? Do I really have to Study for this?

Well, just had my daily cup of hot chocolate. I'm still freezing though, I was soaked when I came home from school, Bloody autumn weather.
Had some nice dreams the last days, first one was about Jerry and John, that they were Vampires and I was in love with one of them, didn't figure out who I loved. That was quite annoying cuz I kept thinking which one I Loved, or Liked :P. Aaah me and my stupid mind.
Second dream was all about Jerry, so that would solve my problem. But then I talked to a friend of mine about John and now I'm confused. aaaaaaaaaaaaaah me and my stupid mind.

there is an Official Nerd Meeting going on at the house next to me. When I came out of school about 5 boys were standing in front of my Garage. They all wore beige tight trousers, colorful raincoats, all had an ancient haircut and they wore their backpacks so high That I wondered if they just came out of a Nerd movie. So when they saw me they started giggling, serious 5 boys giggling! And asked me If Frans was home. WTF, Frans is My neighbor, so I Said no. The minute I said that all these 5 boys turned red, one of them said sorry for bothering me and asked me when he would come home. I said I didn't know cuz I don't live there. After that I got inside and didn't even bother any more about these guys.

Im writing a new story for a writing contest, Its in dutch but if you want to look at it and give a comment please. It is quite personnal so it was very difficult for met to write it. I hope you can enjoy it:

Al fietsend denk ik na, mijn gezicht is verhard, een zwak zonnetje probeert mijn gezicht te verwarmen, misschien probeert het ook mijn verbitterde uitdrukking van mijn gezicht te vegen. Ik kijk op naar de zon en grijns, maar wat een glimlach probeert te worden verdwijnt al snel van mijn gezicht. Er steekt een koude wind op, dit past veel beter bij mijn bui. In mijn oordopjes hoor ik Linkin’ Park, het roept een herinnering op, ik zie zo weer het filmpje voor me. Ik merk dat ik wordt ingehaald door een groepje bruggers, ik begin harder te fietsen, ik moet met hem praten bedenk ik me. Als ik snel thuis ben, heb ik zo mijn huiswerk af en kan, ik op MSN gaan en met hem praten. Ik hoor de woorden van een vriendin in mijn hoofd:
“Wat is er aan de hand? Je bent zo chagrijnig, gaat het niet goed tussen jullie?”
Ging het eigenlijk niet goed? We hadden geen ruzie of zo, het was gewoon anders, het ging achteruit. Er komt weer een herinnering boven, gevolgd door een kriebel in mijn buik, ik grijp naar mijn buik en moet lachen. Ik bijt even op mijn onderlip, het gaat niet goed vertel ik mezelf weer. Een vreemde soort angst neemt mij over, het gaat niet goed, er komt een brok in mijn keel. Kon ik hem nu nog maar even zien misschien zou hij weer naar me lachen en zeggen dat alles goed gaat en dat zou alles goedmaken. Ik ben bijna thuis, zou hij online zijn?

‘We gaan eten!’ Roept mijn moeder terwijl ze mijn kamer binnenkomt, snel klik ik het gesprek weg en draai me om naar mijn moeder. ‘Gaat het meisje?’ Vraagt ze bezorgd als ze mijn gezicht ziet.
‘Ja mam,’ mompel ik, ‘ik kom eraan oke.’ Mijn moeder kijkt me nog even bezorgd aan maar draait zich dan om, en gaat naar beneden.
IK GA ETEN MAAR IK KOM ZO WEER. Typ ik nog even snel in het gesprek. Ik neem een diepe zucht en ga dan naar beneden.
Er praten mensen tegen mij maar ik reageer niet echt, er is iets aan de hand en hij zou het vertellen. Ik werd alleen onderbroken doordat ik moest gaan eten. ‘Wat is er aan de hand?’ Vraagt mijn moeder nogmaals, ik kijk haar aan, ik voel dat er tranen komen, snel kijk ik naar beneden.
‘Het gaat niet zo goed tussen ons.’ Zeg ik alsof dat alles zou verklaren.
‘Hebben jullie ruzie gehad?’ Vraag mijn moeder.
Heftig schud ik mijn hoofd. ‘Nee, ik weet niet wat het is, hij wou het zeggen maar toen moesten we gaan eten.’ Ik kijk op. ‘Mag ik misschien even naar boven gaan en gaan praten? Dan kom ik zo weer terug.’ Mijn moeder knikt, en kijkt me bezorgd aan. Ik sta op en loop stilletjes naar boven, ik hoor mijn vader nog aan mijn moeder vragen wat er aan de hand is. Op het moment dat ik weer achter de computer zit neemt die rare angst mij weer over. Ik raak in een vaag soort paniek en begin moeilijk te ademen. Tranen stromen over mijn wangen, ik kan niet meer stil zitten, ik stort mezelf op de bank in mijn kamer en probeer mezelf te kalmeren.

Mijn vest ziet zwart van de mascara, ik heb hoofdpijn, mijn ogen zijn nat en tranen rollen over mijn wangen. Ik wil schreeuwen, ik wil iemand slaan, ik wil twee armen om mij heen. Het is over, helemaal over. Ik snap niet waarom ik zo huil, ik had het al aan voelen komen. Ik stort me weer op mijn bank en pak een kussen, stevig houd ik het vast en staar voor me uit, ik hoor dat hij nog tegen me praat op MSN. Ik blijf voor me uitstaren, de tranen blijven over mijn wangen rollen. Ik kijk naar buiten en zie een blaadje van de boom vallen, het ziet er mooi en dramatisch uit. Ik wordt de hele tijd gebeld door mensen, vrienden, vrienden die me willen steunen, steeds als ik het weer wil vertellen rollen de tranen over mijn wangen, komt die vage angst weer met een kriebel. Beelden van de laatste 5 weken flitsen door mijn hoofd. Ik adem weer een keertje diep in en ga achter de computer zitten. De webcam staat aan, ik probeer niet naar hem te kijken, het lukt me niet.
‘Verdomme,’ mompel ik, ‘kom gewoon hier en geef me een knuffel.’ Weer komen de tranen, ik zeg tegen hem dat ik het niet ‘trek’ hij net zo min. Ik sluit de computer af en besluit om nog even te gaan douchen. Het warme water neemt de hoofdpijn weg, en ik kalmeer wat, ik merk dat ik nog steeds huil. ‘Fuck wanneer stopt het nou?’

[ … ]

Ik kijk nog even om, en zie ze net weggaan, ik zie een briefje op het aanrecht liggen.

Bel even als je terug bent van werk en laat een voicemail achter.

Ik pak de telefoon, en merk dat ik nog steeds een glimlach op mijn gezicht heb. Ik tik het nummer van mijn vader in en laat de telefoon overgaan totdat deze op de voicemail springt.
‘Heej met lotte, ik ben thuis, sorry dat ik zo laat ben maar ik heb nog even nagepraat. Doei tot vanavond.’

Ik denk nog even na over net, er komt een grijns op mijn gezicht. Ik denk dat het weer terug is, ik grijp naar mijn buik, weer die kriebel. Ik viel bijna en moest hem vastpakken. Ik lach om mijn gedachten.

Well that's that for today...Buhbaaaai!!!!
Love u all!!!

• A better way for u to get to know me is just to look at this list. Its in dutch but dont bother:P have fun wit reading about the complex me.
• Naam:

Lotte

• Nickname:

Sottie, Lavenderksy, Lot

• Woonplaats:

Voorschotuun

• Geboortedatum:

02-08-1991

• Lengte:

1.80 (yeah)

• Kleur ogen:

Blauw

• Schoenmaat:

41

• School/werk:

School

• Rook je:

Hmmm tjah ik moest stoppen van me ma(a)

• Hobby's:

paardrijden, computeren, hangen, dansen

• Broers/zussen:

2 brothers

• Heb je verkering/een relatie:

Nee...maar binnenkoort oeeeeeeeh

• Piercing:

Nee

• Tattoo:

Nee(ik wil well)

• Vakantieland:

SPANJE IS DA BOMB

• Is er iemand die je niet zal terugschrijven:

God

• Leukste persoon die je dit jaar hebt leren kennen:

Jerry! en John!

• Persoon die je dit jaar liever niet had leren kennen:

neeh

• Wie zou je graag ontmoeten:

De ware ofzo=D bah wat cliché

• Wie bewonder je enorm:

Omnia

• Meest sexy personen:

Jerry, John, OrlandoBloom, Johnny Depp

• Favoriete slaapkledij:

Lekkere joggingbroek met hemdje

• Favoriete auto:

Kever!!!

• Favoriete film:

Bambi

• Favoriete muziek:

Rock!!!

• Favoriete stad:

Kopenhagen

• Favoriete knuffel:

Wassie de wasbeer

• Favoriete geurtje:

AmorAmor, Cacharel

• Favoriete week/maandblad:

de krant?

• Favoriete geluid:

Lekkere gitaar!

• Favoriete TV-series:

Charmed....De LAMAS!!!1

• Favoriete schrijver:

Dick Bruna xD

• Favoriete troetelnaam:

Dropje

• Wat staat er op je mouse pad:

Hoe beschrijf je dat? Rommel:P

• Wat ligt er onder je bed:

Stof, en kussens

• Lievelingskleur:

Groen

• Lievelingslied allertijden:

White and Nerdy

• Lievelingslied op dit moment:

Evanescence - My Immortal

• Lievelingseten:

JellyBeans en Ben&Jerry ijs

• Lievelingsvak op school:

CKV:P

• Lievelingsdrank:

7UP

• Lievelingscijfer:

10

• Wat vind je het mooist aan jezelf:

alles xD

• Welke deodorant gebruik je:

Rexona

• Welke schoenen draag je het liefst:

Allstars

• Hoe laat ga je slapen doordeweeks:

ahm...

• Welk woord of welke zin gebruik je vaak:

Gast, Sgatje, Thingie

• Het meest romantische wat je ooit is overkomen:

Tjah prive:P

• Het meest beschamende moment van je leven:

nog meer Prive

• Ben je een buiten persoon of binnen persoon?:

Binnen

• Wat doe je in het weekend:

Geen hol en werken

• Welk vak doe/deed je niet graag op school:

Frans en duits

• Je Ontbijt:

3 boterhammen met kaas

• Wat eet je absoluut niet graag:

SPruitjess! whehehehe

• Huisdieren:

eeen katje

• Lachen of dromen:

Lachen

• Serieus of grappig:

Grappig

• Snel of traag:

Traag

• Alleenstaand of relatie:

Ik wil een relatie:P

• Simpel of ingewikkeld:

simpel

• Cremeren of begraven:

Begraven

• Lang opblijven of vroeg naar bed:

Lang opblijven

• Licht of donker?:

licht

• Spreken of zwijgen:

spreken

• Grote of kleine vrouwen/mannen:

Grote

• Krant of weekblad:

weekblad

• Knuffel of een kus:

Kus

• Gelukkig of triestig:

Gelukkig

• Leven of dood:

Leven

• Fuif of discotheek:

fuif

• Links of rechts:

rechts

• Saus erop of ernaast?:

Erop

• Bruin of blond:

Bruin

• Wat zou je vragen als je "God" een vraag mocht stellen:

Waar is de wc?

• Geloof je in reincarnatie:

Ja

• Bestaan buitenaardse wezens:

jah duuuuh, k ben er zelf 1

• Bestaat de ware:

Ja

• Hoeveel kinderen wil je:

2

• Waar kan je niet tegen:

aaaahmmm veel:P

• Het beste gevoel ter wereld:

Met degene samenzijn waar je veel van houdt

• Het slechtste gevoel ter wereld:

een gebroken hart

• Waar ben je bang voor:

Dat ik me hele leven aan deze fucking ziekte blijf vastzitten

• Word je soms emotioneel:

Jah joh, 3 weken geleden noggg

• Huil je tijdens films:

jah

• Droombezigheid als je ouder bent:

Gewoon lieve man, leuk huis, leuke kinderen perfect leven

• Geef een van je vele goede voornemens voor het jaar:

Gelukkig blijven

• Wat was je eerste gedachte toen je vanmorgen opstond:

Fuck ik ben laat

• Als welk dier zou je terug willen keren?:

Luipaard

• Wat is het mooiste aan het lichaam van een vrouw/man:

De mond

• Origineelste plek om iemand ten huwelijk te vragen:

In de koelcel

• Wat vind je van cu2:

toppiej

• Wat mis je nog aan cu2:

niks

• Waar heb je deze vragenlijst vandaan:

hier

• Hoe vaak up-date je je vriendenlijst:

no idea

• Wat doe je nog meer op de pc naast cu2:

msn

• Mis je een vraag:

nee

Hullo,
With all these bloggers around me I just couldn’t be left out. Usually I’m not in this ‘Wannabee’ mood, but because it sounds fun to be and hey with this weather I have nothing much else to do. Oh well maybe I have to learn for the Upcoming test week But anyways don’t feel like learning on this moment.

The moment: I’m sitting in my chill room, yeah okay I have two rooms, seems extremely spoiled but my bedroom is so extremely small! Okay I am sitting behind my computer; the killers are pumping out of my speakers a damping cup of hot chocolate is standing right in front of me. I am talking to a girl about this boy I know from work and it is sooooh hot in here. So nowhere in my mind there is something related to school, and I want to keep this mood for the next half hour.

So about this blog thingie, I will try not to talk about school in my blog, so that would be after this post. Because if I did there only would be wining about all the work and all the annoying Preps at my school and that would be such Old news. I can give you thousand links with blogs about that.
So I will talk about my life outside school, and surprisingly I do have a life outside school. For instance the next weeks you will hear all my drooling over this boy at work, and another boy at MUN. And MUN doesn’t count for a school thingie cus, too many fun things are happening there ^_^.

Well this is the end of my introduce thingie Blog…More about my life will follow…after tonight probably when I went to the supermarket and get some Chickentonight stories and bullit.:-p

Greeetings Love u all
And remember:
Don’t Do Drugs xD