Monday, August 27, 2007


Hey I put some new shoes on and suddenly everything is right.....

still dont got my wallet back but wathever a friend gave me a newe wallet for my birthday! And I've got new shoes. Vans omfg
byexxx

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Read Me

I just came to the conclusion that when I'm in a certain mood I listen to
certain music. If you pay attention it is so friggin simple to read me. Here is
a little list.


  • HighSchoolMusical or just random songs from the top 40 --- Life is going good for me, I'm happy cannot complain about things and I feel good and pretty.
  • Breaking Benjamin --- Confused, angry the feeling i've been fooled or stabbed in the back, wanting to shout out things like in "The Diary Of Jane."
  • Stone Sour --- Just a Random mood wanting to espress myself I gues just singing along with the lyrics.
  • Three Days Grace --- Emo like mood, thinking about weird stuff in life and how my life was and is. Sometimes difficult times in life with my parents especially "Riot", Never too late or time of dying is more because I think they are just frigging beautiful songs.
  • Greenday --- School Sux
  • Linkin' Park --- Love sux or i'm confused about the love life atm. Not daring to make decisions having to choose between the one and the other. Just a friggin mess in my head.
  • Paolo nutini and Mika --- Just random happyness dont wanna think about anything just the happy things. PEACE!
  • Three Doors Down --- Is kind of for just one guy in my life,,, always listen to it when I think about him.
  • Omnia --- Its just all about relaxing and reliving the concerts because those are so good.
  • Nickelback --- My whole life about the good and the bad things is in their songs, just finding my twin-feelings. And listening to the voice of Chad Kroeger can work in too ways, they make me angry or make me relaxed.
  • Billy Talent --- See me hear me, I Want attention and i want to be heard about what i gotta say. and im just reallly looking forward to their concert.
  • Bonny Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart --- I'm Heartbroken I'm crying this song always makes me cry when im in the mood for it, I once cried in the car next to laureens mom. That time sucked and i blame myself that i made that time last for so long.
  • Soundtrack Poloroid you're so damn beautiful --- Ah the anorectic song, I hate it sometimes and some times i love it. Sometimes i hate the fact that people think you are anorectic. Arg.
  • Santana and Nickelback - Why dont You And I --- Omg that one guy that has always been there cant believe what i'm doing now this is for you guy.

That was my manual... that was so friggin weird. BTW the reason for this quite depressing post is that im friggin angry that my wallet got stolen yesterday. ARg leave me alone.

Some CODELANGUAGE just for the hell of it:

I know the answer to the question the fatboy will be mine

Music - Breaking Benjamin - Blow me Away (only the strongest will survive? fuck im never lucky)

bye loves

Friday, August 17, 2007

What was going on in my head

Back from mexico but i'm not going to tell you how it was and what i did. Dont feel like writing it down...that's why i'm gonna tell you this little story:


As some of you might know my dad is light epileptic, he has to take medicine every day. It are like 7 pills a day. but thanks to that he doesn't get seicures. His last was more than two years ago. I've only see him seicuring one time, which was quite a shock. It was on a morning when i was in first grade, i believe it was on a thursday. My mother and both my brothers were still in bed. i was sitting on the kitchen table with my back to the kitchen sink. Just fooling with my cat when my cat walks up to my dads hand which hangs about 1 feet above the ground thinking he is offering my cat some food. I look back to my cat and i also notice there is no food in my dads hand. He is standing in weird positiion leaning forward over the kitchen sink with his hands hanging down. I walk up to my dad and see his eyes glare into nothingness. This was about the scariest thing i have ever seen in real life, no emotion in my dads blue eyes. "Dad?" I ask a few times, i tap him on the back try to 'wake him up' but nothing happens. Thank god my mom sleeps very light and heard me calling my dad. She asks what was going on. I couldn't even pronounce what was going on... epileptische aanval is a very hard word in times like that. the only think i could think of that time was not letting my dad fall on the ground. so i look back and grab the chair that is closest to me. i kind of push the chair in the back of knees trying to bent them. Wel it worked, but then the seicure started, my dad started shaking in a weird way no i describe it as: Een vis die op het droge sparteld. Meanwhile my mom entered the kitchen. She told me to get something for under his head, i walk to the livingroom my legs shaking and when i got back my dad was lying on the floor. My mom put the pillow under his head and tried to get his medicine. But they were over datum so we just had to wait.
When my dad 'bijkwam' he had no idea where he was.

One day my dad had told me that it could be erfelijk. But no one of us thought we could have it. Untill some hours ago.

When i was little about 5 years old I was at school playing with some friends. There was a bench, well kind of a bench just with no rugleuning it was about 50 cm high. One of the girls were sitting on her knees all crawled up with her back up next to the bench. I was standing on it and the game was to jump over it. Not that difficult, i had done it a few times before. I was looking at the color of the jacket of the girl, ocean blue it was. And the next time i remember i was staring at the paving stones of the playground. I lay there face down only seeing the light and the silhouet of my nose. I didn't even realise i was in pain. My whole face was full of wounds. This accident or what is was described or explained that i just fell. But how? No one ever told me, did my foot got stuck behind the back of the girl? Or did i 'black-out' and just fell. My parents never wondered why i fell, but i never wondered too until now, and some weeks ago. Did i had a mini epileptic seicure where you black out? I dont know but it kind of bothers me.

Well i dont want to think about it for a while and certainly not during BILLY TALENT!

Byeee folks